Why Bad on Paper 2026 Calendars Make the Perfect Secret Santa Gift
Yes, Even for That One Co-Worker
It’s Secret Santa season which means two things:
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You’re questioning every life choice that led you to drawing that colleague’s name out of the hat, and
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You’re desperately searching for a gift that says “I’m thoughtful” but also stayed within the budget.
Enter: The 2026 Bad on Paper Calendars.
Maximalist. Bright. Patterned. Chaotic in the best possible way. Basically the opposite of every beige, minimalist, we-all-need-to-calm-down product on the market. These calendars are dopamine décor at its finest and they make the ultimate Secret Santa present for co-workers, friends, family, and anyone else whose year needs a little more unhinged sparkle.
Two Sizes. Same Unfiltered Energy.
Spiral - 30cm x 21cm
This is the one you hang up proudly like the feral art museum piece it is. Forget inspirational quotes - this calendar is here to celebrate your chaos and deliver just enough unhinged encouragement to keep you going.
Counting down to payday?
Regretting every plan you ever committed to?
Trying Dry July again for the seventh year in a row?
This chaotic queen has your back.
Saddle Stitch - 21cm x 21cm
Same size, slightly different vibes. Still spicy. Still bold. Still the perfect companion for your nonsense.
⚡The Monthly Breakdown - AKA 12 Months of “Oh My God, Same”
Our calendars aren’t just loud in design - they’re loud in personality. Here’s a taste of the delicious unhingedness waiting for your giftee:
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January: What’s your birthstone? Mine’s rock bottom.
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February: The best part of a relationship is at the very beginning when you haven’t met and you’re single.
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March: I don’t care about my foot hanging off the bed anymore. Come get me demons. Bring me home.
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April: Did you tell them to fuck off about it? — me, as a therapist.
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May: Titanic is just an old woman telling a story about some good dick she got on a cruise.
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June: Whoever has my voodoo doll can you give it Ozempic?
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July: Your thirties are mostly spent looking for deals and trying not to cry at work.
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August: Well slap my arse and call me 1929 because I’m in a great depression.
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September: September already? Time flies when your life is falling apart.
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October: You’re a beautiful ray of fucking sunshine.
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November: Sometimes I drop things and I’m too lazy to pick them up — like bobby pins, or my hopes and dreams.
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December: I can’t stop spending money. I’m the primary breadloser of my household.
Go ahead. Tell me this isn’t the most relatable calendar you’ve ever seen.
Why They’re the Best Secret Santa Gifts (Fight Me)
1. They’re universally relatable.
Your chaotic friend? Yes.
Your depressed-but-funny cousin? Absolutely.
Your boss who definitely cries in their car during lunch? 100%.
2. They scream “I understand your personality” without requiring emotional intimacy.
The perfect level of workplace-safe dysfunction.
3. They’re bright, maximalist dopamine décor.
Every page is a neon slap in the face, in the good way. Perfect for desks, kitchens, bedrooms, or that sad little corner where you keep your “important papers.”
4. They bring joy all year.
Unlike candles (gone in a week) or novelty socks (lost instantly), a calendar is a long-term emotional support object.
In Short: Give Chaos This Christmas
If you're stuck on what to get for Secret Santa this year, stop overthinking it. Get them a Bad on Paper 2026 Calendar. It's fun, it’s functional, it’s full of unhinged one-liners, and it guarantees at least 12 months of “THAT’S SO ME” moments.
Because life is hard, adulthood is weird, and we could all use a little more unfiltered joy pinned to our wall.